I will announce a new project who is in my family!
We currently renovating a new house and could come inside in the next few months. This project is a really big deal for all my family but for me so much particularly. That for many reasons!
In fact, the new house that we renovating is the old house of my grandmother. My grandmother is currently and since about two years now in a retirement house, she has …. years, she lived alone since that my not biological grandfather is dead in 2007 (I believe) and after falling and not being able to get up alone. She went in the retirement house. And her house was abandoned!
We have dealt and talked a lot with my parents before decide to go live in this house. We live currently in a rental house, in the same since 19 years (I almost lived all my life in this one). And the idea for my parents to have their own house. Won!
This house scared me since forever, when I was a kid, I did not like to go inside. And fact. She burned twice! Not all house burned! Once time, it was in the kitchen part and the other time it was in the garage. These two fires were because my grandmother did not maintain her house correctly, she was alone after the death of his husband and she did not do. She told all time that she was able to take care of his house alone but she never did it.
The fire. Is an of my biggest phobia! I don’t know why I have fear of fire. When the first time, the house of my grandmother burned, I was an 8 years old child. I don’t know if it’s for this reason. I did not see the fire and I was not particularly traumatized on this day. But by memories, it’s since this time that I have always had fear to come inside the house. Today and since many years, fire is a part of my phobias. I have so much fear of the fire that I can’t even light up a candle same on a birthday cake. Ok! In fact of this, when my parents consider the fact to go live in this house. I was against themselves for not go because of I was afraid!
Many months have gone, my parents get rid of all my grandmother left in the house when she left it. It was in the goal or to live in or to sell it. When the house was almost empty of all old pieces of furniture and in despite of fires past, I managed to start to could live maybe in this house. It was a big progress by myself!
Now, last month, we have started the renovations. By paint and clean the house! This week, I finished painting the wall and window of my future bedroom. I love it! And if I feel and think always to the fires in the house, I can feel good and I want to live inside! I feel better about the house! I feel better about the idea to live in the house! I think, I can feel me comfortable in this house. What a big deal! Now, we started to paint my parent’s bedroom. It’s physically hard but I love to paint.
The other big deal for me to the idea to move in this house! I have never moved of my life except when I was on the month to turn on 3 years old. Indeed, in the rental house where we currently are, we are here since that I was almost 3 and I have almost 22 years old. I can tell that I lived all my childhood and life in this rental house. And I never moved. So moving, is an all new world for me! The new house is 25 minutes away of my current house. I’m in the idea that maybe left the house and town where I lived all my painful childhood can help to go again more forward and detached me of the past. Maybe! But the idea of moving is like same a big deal!
That’s a new side of my life that I’m now ready to share because I’m ready and feel better about this project.