The life lately has been specially hard! The daily life with my flashbacks who have been powerful was rough! My grandmother passing away was hard and the funeral yesterday afternoon was really hard. Further, the 14th July Bastille day in France do not call all for fun, except it was rainy Sunday afternoon, a very lot of my thoughts were directed toward my favorite city. It was 3rd Anniversary of the terror attack on 14 Juillet 2016. Each 14th, I need to think about Nice and it’s really hard. I cried so much because I love this city and I’m sad of this event. I cried so much before fall asleep on Sunday night. I was in a mix to tried remember memories about my grandma (with the funeral on 15th July) and my sadness to Nice. I cried all the night before sleeping! The funeral was yesterday afternoon, it was so hard, during all the ceremony I wanted to cry. I haven’t again managed to identify what feeling I have about the situation. I’m bad but not really sad! During the funeral, I saw many peoples of my family that I haven’t seen since years. I was not in the best mood to saw them but I was happy to see that everyone together cried to my grandma passing away.
I have learned also by what way my grandma is passed away. That gives me a sadness feeling! I was shocked also! My grandma had Alzheimer’s disease but it’s not for this principal reason that she is passed away. She has done a cerebral hemorrhage after to be falling down. I learned the half of her face was black. They have decided to pay for she looks better. On another side, I ask me a lot of questions about my grandma, my grandma travels, if a day she has been at Disneyland. Like I’m in a travel mood currently in my life, I have a few of these questions in my head.
The rest of my life lately. This week, I launched me and I started to do some watercolors. I wanted since a few months but like I never buy a thing when I’m not sure that I want to use it. I took a few months before to decide myself. Last night, I tried to do some watercolors with all I had in mind about my grandma. Coloring is something who help me to reduce my flashbacks. I love watercolors! I have done recently an electromyogram of my arms because of all my pain inside. All was good and the neurologist think it’s maybe more my tendons. From 4th July to 14th July red, blue and white mood. But on 14th July, I was not really in the mood.
I bought me a new suitcase size for my big Disneyland Paris trip in September and my next travel. I had only one hand luggage and it’s small on some travel. Not because I took many things with me (I took four t-shirts for a trip of seven days) but because I took always with me during my travel an of my cozy blanket, to sleep better when I’m not in my bed and for my anxiety and with the material of my DSLR is right big. So, first priority when I bought a new suitcase it’s to see that my blanket go inside with my DSLR and that I have again enough of space. I love this suitcase, I can’t wait to use it. What I love in Samsonite suitcases there are a few genius storages.
I wrapped Harry Potter and the Order Of Phoenix and I started Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I spent big times of my day to editing the video of my summer trip on the French Rivera. I’m happy! I love to take photos but also create videos of my trips. It’s in another mood! You can find the video here.
That wraps this special life lately that I dedicate to my grandma. Love you, grandma. Are you already lost your grandma? How did you feel about? How have you managed? xo