About My Borderline Personality Disorder

My borderline personality disorder was diagnosed in July 2015 when I had 18 and half year.

Since so much time with my psychiatric us don’t know was diagnostic for my symptoms because there was confuse the symptoms.

To have a diagnostic that help me to understand myself but that not preview the situation better at level of my every day life.

Actually I’m medication with Lamotrigine since october 2015 I started with 25mg for to be at 150 mg around Christmas then I’m down cause sides effects ( eczema plaques, since I born I have already skin problems ) today I’m at 50 mg.

After 1 year in 1 month I hesite if I stop it because I have had enough of take it and I don’t know if he help me but sometimes I tell me, yes I have a felling that help me.

After 1 year I have had enough of take it and even if I have it down at 50 mg I have always eczema plaques and I have had enough this is particularly for that if I want stop it.

Before I take Lamotrigine, my psychiatric wanted maybe try Clozapine but there is lots of blood tests to do while treatment and I do not really wanted that to do, so I had decided to test Lamotrigine.

Before that between February 2015 and August 2015 I took Efexor but it was ineffective so I wanted stop it and before that I took and try again more medication but anyone was effective.

My principal symptoms and ( maybe ) my solutions:

I’m frequently angry when something do not go.

Since some weeks I managed I manage the situation, I walk away of the situation for calm myself and after some minutes it’s going better ( and maybe Lamotrigine that help me, maybe ).

I’m feeling frequently between black & white.

For that I don’t find solutions.

I’m feeling always that everybody want get rid of me.

It’s my feeling cause of my borderline personality disorder or because everybody get rid of me since I was a child ( school, my parents, the entire world ), I don’t know and that feeling bad because today I don’t know if it’s real or not.

Borderline Personality Disorder is hard in every single day life.

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